5th Column

My dear Namal baby,

I thought I must write to you, even though it is only three weeks since I wrote to Mahinda maama. That is because you seem to be in the news for all the wrong reasons. You are seen meeting American ambassadors while also being accused of misappropriating millions and cheating at law exams!

You need to have a better grasp of what your party members are up to, Namal baby. One moment, ‘pohottuwa’ stalwart Sarath, formerly of the Civil Defence fame and lately infamous for transporting lingerie for actresses is protesting outside the American embassy, shouting ‘Julie Chung, go home’!

Courting trouble

Sarath claims USAID money was spent on funding the ‘aragalaya’ that got rid of your Gota baappa. Still, before you can say ‘Gota go home,” Julie Chung is knocking at your doorstep at the ‘pohottuwa’ office. You have no choice but to grin from ear to ear and smile for the cameras with her.

Whatever Sarath tried to gain with that USAID issue has backfired badly on you. What Julie did was to give you a diplomatic slap in the face. Yet, you take to social media and call her ‘Her Excellency’ (which is the right thing to do), before amending that to just ‘Ambassador’. Ah, you blundered again!

You had already called for an inquiry into how USAID money was spent in Paradise but you have to say something about Julie’s visit. So, you end up commending the ‘non-interference foreign policy’ of Trump. If someone else is writing this for you, fire him. If you write it yourself, you must read more.

Then, Namal baby, there is that minor matter about how you sat the Law College exams. I don’t think anyone doubts your qualifications but questions linger about the environment in which you attempted the exam. When you were asked about it at a recent interview, your answers weren’t very convincing.

This is where you can learn a valuable lesson from Sajith. Remember how he was asked about his qualifications? He made a virtue out of necessity and spent a good half hour of Parliament time outlining every qualification he ever gained, almost from the time he entered Kindergarten.

Alternatively, you can adopt the ‘Ranwala’ method. That chap, who resigned as Speaker two months ago because he wanted time to provide proof of his doctorate, was reminded of the promise he made. Flying into a rage, he said asking for qualifications is ‘not worth two pence’ (‘thuttu dekey weda’)!

All these issues are insignificant compared to the real challenge you face now, the charges involving the ‘Krrish’ transaction. At the rate your family members, – you, Yo baby, even Daisy aachchi and who knows who’s next – have to be in court, you should be buying property in Hulftsdorp, not Ratmalana!

Isn’t it odd that the speed at which the wheels of justice turn depends on who is in office? For many years, nothing happened, but now we hear of a new case almost every day. You have only yourself to blame for that because it was you who said, ‘prove that we are corrupt, if you can!’

You may have felt reassured because many of your political friends were in court to support you. Among them were several who deserted Mahinda maama and endorsed Uncle Ranil instead of supporting you at the big race, though they were from the ‘pohottuwa’. Beware of them, next time!

As for Mahinda maama, we saw him enjoying himself on Valentine’s Day, attending the ‘Rani’ movie. He wrote nostalgically about it saying it reminded him of his youthful ‘Paada Yaathraa’ days when he fought for human rights and how he relived those memories while watching the movie.

What Mahinda maama didn’t tell us was that, while ‘Rani’ was about Richard’s killing, the situation was not much different when he was in charge. Several journalists were killed and some went missing and haven’t been found to this day. Others were abducted but were lucky to live to tell the tale.

Isn’t it funny, Namal baby, how those who champion human rights while in the opposition are not so worried about them while in government? Isn’t it also strange that two sons of two leaders who were in charge when journalists were abducted and killed, hope to lead Paradise some day in the future?

I am sure you will learn these lessons in time to come. You must be a busy man these days, having to prepare speeches for the budget debate on the one hand and having to defend yourself on various charges, on the other hand. We can only hope that justice will be done. That is your wish too, right?

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: Having frequent court appearances, you must be worried about what happened this week in court. There is a silver lining behind every dark cloud, and maybe Mahinda maama can ask for increased security  again.